When was the last time you heard a voice in your head saying “I’m not good enough”, “I wasn’t made for this”, “I hate myself” or something like “ What if I mess this up?”. By voices I refer to the thoughts that tell you certain thing about yourself that you need validation for unlike the things other people tell you that you can easily shrug off. Very often we find ourselves in situations where these thoughts convict themselves as the most honest thing we know about ourselves.
It can be failed relationship leading us into thinking we can’t be a good partner or it can be poor grades in exams that make so many children think they aren’t good enough. Not being able to speak up at important moments makes us pity ourselves or something as small as being laughed at kills our self esteem all because of the thoughts we believe in. Then there’s something called “Imposter Syndrome” which is defined as the feeling of not being good enough and doubting yourself even after doing good, whether it’s a relationship, parenting, friendship, job or any other personal goal.
Negative thoughts, self doubts and insecurities are common things and it’s only normal that they tip toe their way into our heads and mess it up. What we can’t afford to do is to buy into the stories they tell and believe them to be true. If they constantly tell you YES you have to constantly tell them NO. If they tell you “YOU CANT” you have to tell them “I CAN”. Let’s see some other ways you can avoid falling for the things these voices tell you-
Be conscious of your thoughts – Most of our thoughts are unconscious so every and then ask yourself what you’re really thinking about and does your actions reflect those thoughts. Persistent negative thoughts can lead to lack of motivation, procrastination and low self esteem.
Practice self affirmations – I know you have heard about this one and have at least once put on a wallpaper that says something good or put on sticky note on your table telling you “you are enough” but how often do you read it, once a month maybe. Practicing self affirmation isn’t just reading and repeating positive quotes but thinking in the same direction every now and then.
Stay away from negative and unsupportive people – The last thing you would want while battling self doubts and negativity are people who constantly point out your flaws and remind you of your failures. There’s already a voice in your head telling you I bet you don’t want more. Stay around friends and colleagues who are supportive and remind you of how incredibly talented you are in what you do be it your job, hobby, responsibility or over thinking.
Come up with your own ways – Everything doesn’t work for everyone. There are loads of things that people will tell you to do but it won’t work until you find something that clicks with you. Find your ways of dealing with these issues. Try journalizing or writing, practice self compassion and self talks, talk to your friends about it, track your progress and get into the right head space.
Seek therapy and counseling – If this is something you’ve been persistently dealing with and you keep falling deeper and deeper into the pit self doubt, a professional help is something you should look forward to. Ignoring subconscious issues like these can lead to anxiety and depression. Therapy and counseling sessions will give you better insight about the problem and provide more practical ways to achieve better headspace and well being. You can book your appointment today.
Written By - Pratham Dixit
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