TW- MENTIONS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & ABUSE
The general idea of a relationship is a connection between two or more humans. It is a connection of respect and regard for another person. But have you ever weighed the influence of relations in your life?
If you observe carefully, you will detect many decisions were influenced by external factors. Many times, it is arduous to take an evident risk because of the family back at home. The environment has a great influence on your life. But what if these influences tend to affect your mental stability, do you think it is fine? The answer should be no, but people fail to realise that. People overlook the actions out of the feeling of love for the other, but sometimes they believe this is how things are supposed to be. One such example is a victim of domestic violence. Abuse and violence shouldn’t be favoured no matter how close you are to the other person.
Have you ever witnessed a possessive relationship? Like they say, there is a limit for many things, and the same is with being possessive. People like attention, but when this attention takes a turn and leads to actions that define blatant ownership, these actions become perilous.
What if you could be of some help to them?
At times, possessiveness is a result of insecurity. If you are considerate of the other person, you should scrutinize your actions. Sometimes the other person is insecure because of their past, and our actions might trigger them, but you should keep in mind that the other person hasn’t moved on yet. The basic question that comes to mind is what should we do? The answer is simple- investigate the reason behind that insecurity. When you probe the events with a broad horizon, you will obtain the answers. At times, it is because of low self-esteem.
Example- Sometimes, the family's remark on their child as ‘good for nothing,’ and if that kid takes that to heart, they establish lower self-esteem, and this affects their actions. Imagine- if you assume that you don’t deserve the love of your partner, eventually, you will provoke situations where your partner will be compelled to leave; thus, you believe those harsh words. But had you believed in yourself, you would have reckoned yourself as worthy of being loved, and trusted your partner's intentions.
I once wrote, "Accept your insecurities because that’s the past you need to get over with." If you don’t get over your past, your actions are bound to cause trouble; you might end up hurting the only person you love. How can you expect your kith and kins to be jovial around you when you are hurting? In every situation, you make a choice, and for every choice, there are different consequences. So, if you are determined to live in the past, you shall lose the opportunities yet to come, but if you choose to heal (or learn), you are going to unlock many possibilities, and besides that, you will be happy.
What if the person doesn’t want to change?
After trying hard, you realise your partner isn’t ready to change, but you are determined to stay because of the affection. You wonder if you are ready to go out there in search again. But we shall discuss it some other day. You believe you are incapable of helping your partner, and you blame yourself for the things. This happens because you start sharing their energy. They were hurting because of their past, and that pain is contagious. You reckon that they will change someday, and you stick around, but what if this is their obsession? And what about the undesirable consequences of this obsession?
The point is no one is perfect, and the quest for an ideal relationship is futile. Even those who are together for a long time have their struggles but what binds them is respect for the other side of the story. If the person is not prepared to hear you out, how do you expect them to stick around? In the beginning, you tend to serve their notions to stay with them, but when you start making decisions that somehow go against their desires, they think you are being influenced by someone else. They don’t even rationalise what it means to you. Well, if the energy is not equivalent to what you have to offer, and you aren’t being valued even when you act for a poised future, somehow or the other, you will get hurt. If you don’t take care of yourself, who else will? Humans are complete, they don’t need the other person to complete them. It is just that their presence makes you feel comfortable, but only the right human is capable of that.
P.S. The word relationship includes all the aspects like friendships, family etc.
Written By - Siddhant Kataria
Your mental health matters as much as your physical health. Don't hesitate to take a step towards your mental well-being. If you’re looking at talking to a professional, book your Initial Consultation with us on https://www.themoodspace.com/freeconsultation or write to us at info@themoodspace.com. Take a step towards bettering your mental wellbeing because you deserve it!