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Updated: Aug 25, 2022

Breakups do come with loneliness and sadness which make us reevaluate our sense of being.

Have you ever gone through a break up? The usual routine of moving on deleting their messages, pictures from your phone, changing your netflix password, stalking them on social media, cutting off all ties with them, ranting to your friends about them or listening to really sad songs.

But human beings are social animals; we crave human interaction, friendships, relationships and intimacy. Breakups do come with loneliness and sadness which make us reevaluate our sense of being.

After every drastic change in life such as getting a job, becoming a parent, moving to another city, getting married, etc, we step into a “new role” in our lives and many times a lot of people find it difficult to fit into that new role.

“When we are open to new possibilities, we find them. Be open and skeptical of everything.” –Todd Kashdan

Similarly, after the end of each relationship either romantic or platonic it becomes hard to see ourselves as a single entity without our partner because of the emotional investment we made in that relationship.

This comes with ample self doubt. “Was I not enough?” “Is there something wrong with me?” “Am I unlovable?”

Most individuals after being separated from their partner do redefine their identity. They “Glow up”. While it seems like an easy line, it is an understandably hard task to do.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” –Viktor E. Frankl

But how do we get there? Here are a few things that you can work on to bring balance back to your life.

Love yourself

We can only love another person to the extent we love ourselves. Your relationship with yourself sets the stage for your relationship with others.

Question yourself. So how do you treat yourself?

Take it this way, if you’re too critical of yourself, you might notice that you are excessively critical of your partner as well.

I’m sure you remember your parents telling you “bado ki izzat karo” (Respect your elders), but do we teach children to respect themselves?

Self love does not only mean treating yourself with a shopping spree or putting on a cute face mask, truly loving yourself comes with respecting and accepting yourself. Self love or accepting oneself doesn’t mean you don’t want to grow, but you can love yourself while in the process of growth too.